Wha–?! Two posts in one day? Yes. Because I can.

Got inspired by my friend’s blog post. A list of things that make me smile:

• Thinking of Jesus’ love
• Being with my family
• Remembering Tonbara
• Sound of rain pattering against a surface
• Seeing dark clouds that signal a thunderstorm
• Painting landscape
• Honest laughter
• Hollow sounds of piano from the hallway
• Seeing friends
• Eating
• Dancing to my jamming beats
• Walking/Running in the rain!
• Practicing playing the bass without it
• Playing soccer spontaneously
• Running spontaneously
• Helping a friend
• Cooking my favorite meal for a loved one
• Cracking a joke with friends and family
• Reading something my loved ones write
• Writing something other than projects/papers
• Subway!
• Korean movies!
• Weddings
• Instrumental music
• Classical music
• Voices of a splendid choir (Soweto, for example)
• Worship
• String instruments: Cello, Violin
• International culture shows
• Baking
• Cute babies!
• Graduating from this…place.
• There’s so much more but for now, this will do.

What about you? What makes you smile? Think of these things and be grateful!

Be blessed… again.

Another week since my last post. Since the cheating incident. Hmmph. Well, someone said karma was a very good thing and although I do not really believe in it, I know that God takes care of the honest. It was laughable during recitation the next week when I saw the guy’s grade, wondering why he bothered cheating. It wasn’t an extraordinary grade but he passed. Ugh. Let justice be served, please!

So this week was crunch time to the max. I can honestly say that this took the cake for the most stressful, worst semester schoolwise. Surprise upon surprise, I started to wonder if this was one big April Fool’s joke overdue. Insanity can really take over a person when you start asking God what you did to Him. *points to self* Yeah, I had to repeatedly ask God for His forgiveness because sometimes, I really thought I was going to lose my mind.

Now that it’s crunchtime, I have two more exams and a big paper, while waiting for results. Yesterday, I was tied up with anxiety and fear as I made my way home after another exam. Was really feeling inadequate and worried, not wanting to see my Anatomy practical exam results. So while my food was being heated up, I cautiously approached the computer and peeked at my exam score. It wasn’t an A but I almost screamed if my roommates were not at home. Jumping up and down and almost at the verge of full-blown tears, I had to kneel down and lift my hands to the ceiling. God is good. No question about it. He is so good. He comes through in HIS OWN TIME, not ours.

I’m learning to trust Him in EVERYTHING and that is the most difficult thing ever. My devotions yesterday really hit home for me and now as I search for an excerpt, I cannot find it! I truly believed that was DIVINE INTERVENTION, where God said “Okay, Dee, time out… Take a deep breath and listen to me.”

In summary, all the things we stress about: school, grades, success at work, personal victories, the biggest house, biggest car… In the end of life, we will all leave that behind. What MATTERS now is what we do for HIS KINGDOM. Are we storing up treasures that will be burned and blow away like chaff or shine like pure gold? Our faith and our work IN CHRIST is what will show up in eternity, not how high our grades are or what kind of car we drive.

I thank the Lord that He loves me enough to convict me of this very thing. I find myself stressing and giving myself ulcers about things that I will not be able to take with me, personal trophies and victories that look awesome on earth but don’t measure up to a group of saved lives. Lord help us all to remember the reason we are on this earth.

Be blessed!

One of my pet peeves in life are cheaters. For the life of me, I do not understand why it is necessary to cheat. Today, I had one of the most ridiculously-confusing exams ever taken–for the most ridiculous easy subjects I’ve ever had to take. Easier than physical chemistry, that’s for sure. Anyway, I stayed up late and woke up early to study for this exam and come the test, I was confuzzled. Completely. And it was too long, too complicated with not much time to take it.

So I finished the exam and rushed to hand it to the professor before he stalked out the door and lo and behold… Guess what I saw? Two dudes at the back, CHEATING. Unbelievable. It wasn’t even that they were being slick about it at all. In broad daylight, in plain sight, they were sharing answers. I just had to laugh at how ridiculous this was. I mean, what’s so hard? You’re going to fail–fail like the rest of us and don’t break the honor code.

I wonder if there are cameras in the building or whether this honor code is to scare you but not really enforce the consequences. At this time in the year, people stop caring and start to slack off. I guess cheating is one of those things people forget about. Either, thanks to these guys, the curve is completely ruined. Congratulations to you.

Tsk. Story of my life.

Well, I’m done.

I know we all have different responses to this. Some may say “When life gives you lemons, squeeze them…” or some say “…make lemonade.” I believe that each type of response reveals what kind of character you are. When life comes at you fast, how do you respond? Do you throw all down to the floor and cry inconsolably or do you shrug it off as another obstacle and move on, or do you take it in and learn from it?

I know there are days when I want to throw it all down and cry and somedays I just let it slide, never learning from either. Recently, that’s been me. Either full of self-pity or complete nonchalance. I get to the point where things just numb me. But then bitterness settles in. A while back, I developed a mindset that “love is overrated” and for most of that time, I really truly believed it. Until I gained a greater respect for the gift of love from God. His unconditional love. I understood more about the love one receives from family and gained a new perspective on the word “Love.” 

Right now, my thoughts are jumbled so excuse the disorganized post. Think of this as a jumbled contemplation. Now I will go and reevaluate…

Have a blessed day.